My Monthly Weigh-in

This morning I did my monthly weigh-in and I’ve lost an extra 7 lbs which makes 20 lbs in total. Yippee!!! Now I have about 20 more to go. I know what some of you must be thinking, but wait a minute, I wasn’t sitting on the couch stuffing my face with cookies and chips, I travel a lot and that caused me to swoop into fast food restaurants, order room service and because of my jet-lag, I didn’t haul my lazy, tired ass to the gym. And good people…it caught up with me big time!

Now I have a regimen I’ve followed for the past 2 months and it includes yoga and aerobic body conditioning on Mondays and Wednesdays, then weight training and water aerobics on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So far it’s working and maybe resisting my urge to suck down every fattening thing I get my hands on is helping too? You think?

I’ve never been a big person but once you start creeping up in age…ahem, pounds seem to stick to you like they’ve been super glued….there’s inch pinching, dimples and a muffin top that should NEVER EVER appear on anyone’s body as long as you’re alive on this earth! You wake up one morning and that dress you thought you’d still be hot in, well, you can’t even get it over your breasts (and if by some miracle of nature you can squeeze it over the boobs from Hell)  you can’t button or zip it up. And let me tell you, I’m deathly afraid of surgeons and scalpels, so no nipping and sucking here…Oh Hell no! Let me not forget Botox, that’s just wrong on multiple levels, but I digressed.

I simply believe that it took time for me to blow up and it’ll take time, patience and persistence to deflate. I did this to myself and no one but me has to suffer the consequences of my binges. That being said, I’m off to the gym to suffer with my friends for a couple of hours and hopefully I’ll continue to survive. Peace!


Just Another Manic Monday….


Oh My GOD!!! What in the HELL just happened? I was supposed to continue to traverse the minefield that is bureaucracy, so that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel in starting my business. However, I found myself in a real life, honest to goodness scene out of Law and Order. I was involved in stopping a kidnapping of a relative.

My Alzheimer’s afflicted cousin was about to be spirited away by relatives on her father’s side of the family that she specifically told me, while she was in sound mind, that she wanted nothing to do with. I can’t go into specifics, but…What the Fuck!!!!! After this ordeal was taken care of…a restraining order and private security is involved, I was literally walking around as if I was in some surreal, allegorical fantasy, looking at this event from some otherworldly place. I’m not a member of some rich, powerful family who’s at war fighting over millions…we’re hard-working, middle class people for Christ’s sake. This was just all sorts of stupid.

Well…after all was said and done, I tried to de-stress by going to my yoga class. Bad move on my part there…the yoga instructor was obviously a torture expert in another life and was so good at it, she came back for round 2 in this one. She was in RARE form today. She had us contorting our bodies in ways that a body should never…EVER be positioned in. Did I say never ever? By the time I got out of that unholy house of Hell, I was even more stressed but also, I was hurting in every part of my body including my hair. When your hair hurts, you’re in big trouble.

So I eased my aching body into my car and of course I not only hit traffic, but every pothole known to mankind. What should have taken me 15 minutes to get home, it took 45. Don’t EVEN get me started. Upon arriving home, I realized I had to actually get out of my car and go inside my place….mind you, we’re having unusually hot weather here in LA and I had a choice; sit there in my car with the air running and look like an eccentric crazy lady or put my big girl dress on and drag my tired ass inside my home. Hmmmmmm….what to do? Of course I sat there for about 10 minutes looking like the crazy lady I am. What can I say?

Finally, after watching my neighbors watching me watching them, I turned the car off and went inside. And wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t leave the air on and it was sweltering. You would think it was time to just throw my hands up wouldn’t you? Nope, I’m a masochist, I needed more. I had planned on trying another recipe, so I left the dough to rise, but because it was so humid, it rose alright…have any of you watched that classic episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy and Ethel had the uncontrollable dough rising and exploding all over the place?  Today was my I Love Lucy moment, that thing expanded like a behemoth. All I could do was laugh.

I left it in the kitchen, went to the bathroom, ran a nice cool bath with my favorite Bath and Body Works bath gel and dove in. I soaked so long I was pruning, but I didn’t care one bit. After the day I had, a little pruning does a body good.

Was my day finally over…NO! I had to go back to my cousin’s facility to check on her and upon doing so, I found that she had forgotten what had happened to her today. And though Alzheimer’s is a dreadful, mind and life robbing disease, for once I’m glad her memory is not what it once was, because she’s resting comfortably and for someone who is but a shell of her former self, this is a small blessing. I want her to be at peace and in as little distress as humanly possible.

I’m still relatively young and healthy, so I’ve got this for her and myself. After having time to think about my day, I guess it really wasn’t as bad as I thought. I still have a ton of my life to look forward to but for my cousin and those suffering from Alzheimer’s, their best years are but a distant memory, if that. When I look at her, I try not to see what this disease is doing to her, but remember the wonderful, dynamic, fun-loving woman who regaled me with her extraordinary life. Yep…this Monday may have been manic, but oh well, such is life.

Bullshit…I’m still pissed!