A Case Study: The I’m’s…..

signs-that-you-are-narcissistic

You know who they are — we work with them, we may live with them, we’re friends with them, they’re disbursed throughout our families, we pass them in cars and on the street everyday. Those familiar people who, for lack of a better word, are assholes who think the world revolves around THEM. They are what I comically call “The I’m’s“.

They can call or text early in the morning, late at night, at work, in the store, in the gym, in the car….anywhere at anytime when they need YOUR help. They sound the alarm and expect you to come running and, like the sucker you are, you answer the call to action. They will walk through a burning fire, scale the highest mountain, swim in the deepest ocean, fight the most abominable traffic, hop a flight, take a cab, get on the bus, walk, take the subway, go out into the hottest weather or the coldest blizzard to get to you when THEY need something.

But here is when they earn their title. You may be someone who rarely asks for favors and try to handle your life like a BOSS. But the second you ask one of these “I’m’s” for the teeniest, tiniest of favors, here it comes, wait for it…I’m too tired, I’m too busy, I’m too sleepy, I’m too hungry, I’m too hot, I’m too cold, I’m too exhausted (to drive), I’m not in your neighborhood, I’m stuck on the freeway and it’s too far out of my way, I’m working late, I’m digging a tunnel to China, I’m feeding the cat/dog, I’m washing my car, I’m picking my nose, I’m plucking my eyebrows, I’m scratching my butt (it may take a while), I’m involved with family commitments (family is never an issue for these people until it involves helping you, that’s their excuse), I’m inventing the cure for whatever illness I can think of that will get me out of assisting you, I’m too broke to drive because I need to conserve my gas so I can get to work, though they forgot their lie and posted numerous pictures on Facebook and Instagram of them out at a swanky restaurant or party, bragging about how much fun they had. This list could literally go on forever. But I think you get the point.

The I’m’s are basically narcissists with a little bit of passive/aggressiveness and egomania thrown in for good measure. Usually they’re innocuous and they’re not particularly bad people. But they are draining and infuriating. They have no idea that their actions affect their relationships with people in their personal, as well as their professional lives. They only see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear and everything else is white noise. They can pick other people apart at the seams, but when they’re called on their bullshit, they become extremely defensive, then try to flip the script and blame the issue on YOU. It’s Psych 101…..a classic move if there ever was one.

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So it brings me to this little sage piece of advice: if they’re in your life, you must make a decision if they’re worth the frustration, headaches and hurt feelings you’ll have dealing with them. Can you accept the mind-numbing fact that they are who they are and they won’t change. Or do you jump ship, swim as fast as you can to the shore, get to a safe haven, shower, change your clothes and catch the first thing smokin’ as far away from them as you can get. The choice is yours. I have some decisions to make of my own and it may be painful but I know what I need to do to preserve my sanity. You see, I’m not your garden variety woman, I have 1-800-FUCK-YOU on speed dial. I have very few problems with doing a surgical incision on relationships that are more of a liability than an asset. That’s just who I am.

So until next time, have a great weekend and I will keep everyone posted on my Winter cleaning. 🙂 Peace!

Weekend Hangout – The Birthday Continues…..River Cafe

After a wonderful celebration with family and friends in LA on my actual birthday of October 19th, my friends in New York planned a 2nd birthday celebration. This time it was in New York or Brooklyn to be exact, at the fabulous River Cafe. This place is hands down, one of my favorite places to dine. If you want to have a romantic evening or just gather with your family and friends, this is the place to be.

The River Café draws more New Yorkers and visitors into Brooklyn than just about any entity since Coney Island. It has been the location of many major films, hundreds of commercials and countless television shows. It has hosted many of the most famous – from within government and business to celebrity and royalty from around the world.

The River Cafe has won numerous awards including The 2012 Michelin Guide Award, Distinguished Restaurants of North America Award (DiRoNA), The New York Parks Council Award and The Municipal Arts Society Award.

I would highly recommend if you’re in New York, make a reservation, because if the food doesn’t do it for you (and it would be surprising if it doesn’t), the spectacular views and excellent service will have you hooked!

One Water Street

Brooklyn, New York 11201

718.522.5200

**After 5:00 p.m. each day, jackets are required for gentlemen in the Main Dining Room and the Bar. Ties and collared shirts are always preferred.

Appropriate clothing and footwear is always required in all areas at all times. Men wearing backless sandals are not permitted.

 Obama 1998 Lo…

Obama 1998 Loyola Speech Leaked: ‘I Believe In

Redistribution’ (AUDIO)

The Huffington Post  |  By  Posted: 09/18/2012 5:27 pm Updated: 09/18/2012 5:30 pm

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Obama Loyola Speech

It turns out Mitt Romney isn’t the only presidential candidate to have a video leak this week.

Fresh on the heels of Romney’s leaked campaign fundraising video, in which the Republican candidate calls 47 percent of Americans “dependent on government” since they don’t pay federal income taxes, a recording from a purported 1998 Loyola University appearance by President Barack Obama has been posted to YouTube.

The sentiments revealed in the more than decade-old Obama video, however, are far different those Romney expressed at a Florida fundraiser this May. Referring to efforts to restore the efficacy of government, then-Illinois state Sen. Obama said:

“The trick is figuring out how do we structure government systems that pool resources and hence facilitate some [wealth] redistribution — because I actually believe in redistribution, at least at a certain level to make sure that everybody’s got a shot.”

A request for comment to confirm the authenticity of the leaked Loyola video was not immediately returned by the Obama campaign.

During his 2008 presidential campaign, some 10 years later, it seemed Obama’s stance on redistribution had changed little. He garnered Republican criticism when he told an Ohio campaign audience, “When you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”

Obama now may be more wary of such language. Earlier this year when the president pushed for the Buffett Rule, a plan that would have raised taxes on the wealthy, he maintained such a tax increase was not designed to redistribute wealth but to spur investment in the U.S. economy.

The Scoodie  – By Sydney Chandler posted on 9/18/2012

Whoever leaked this audio tape really believed they had an Obama “gotcha” moment. Redistributing the wealth and making sure people got a shot…how dare he! Wanting there to be a fair and equal playing field is so incredibly radical

on Obama’s part, it’s disturbing. When did we become a country who didn’t care about it’s own people? I was taught that when you are able to help someone else as you go up the ladder of success…you do it. Now according to the extremist radical right, anyone who isn’t wealthy is lazy…can you get any lazier than people who were born on third base but started bragging like they hit a triple?

Starting a Business is Hell!

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Who would have thought that my obsession with all things sweet would lead me to start my own little slice of the American Dream? I use to watch my mom go into the kitchen, pull out her mixer, bowl, measuring cup, flour and all the rest of her gadgets, gizmos and ingredients to make that moist, buttery, fluffy piece of goodness. But at the time, all I wanted to do was lick the bowl…back in the day, you could do that without the food police or salmonella ready to arrest you or have you hurling in the commode.

Life WAS really so much easier and less complicated back then. My mom, who was Martha Stewart before Martha Stewart became Martha Stewart, would instruct me on putting a bit of this…a  bit of that…a pinch here…a dab there, somehow the woman just knew how to throw a cake together like a master pastry chef with no formal training…it was amazing! But I was not at all into cooking…I was a little feminist who absolutely refused to conform. And what was so hilarious about the whole thing was that mom was a card-carrying member of the National Organization of Women and good luck to anyone trying to tell her what to do. Yet there she was like Betty Crocker cooking her little heart out, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. It was as simple as that.

Even-though my mom NEVER thought I absorbed her culinary teachings, in reality I did. I love to cook but I love to create beautiful delectable pastries even more. I’ve taken various classes ranging from simple cake decorating all the way to sculpting chocolate. If it were left up to me and those imaginary lottery winnings, the only two things I would do in life would be to write and make pastries…that would be all sorts of cool.

However, reality check here, I do have to support myself, so I have reconciled myself to building my little side business slowly because my last name isn’t Trump or Winfrey. But my God…I’m not trying to run a multi-national conglomerate, I just want to make cakes, cookies and cupcakes and the maze I’m traversing is HELL! I live in a city (Los Angeles) that wants to charge you for everything…including for the privilege to breathe the smoggy air. Get outta here!

No wonder productions are leaving going to greener pastures, the bureaucratic red tape is insane. I have filled out so much paperwork, I’m having day AND nightmares about it and of course some of it couldn’t possibly be done via their website…oh no, that would be too much like the right thing to do. I’m beginning to think I should have taken the suggestions of my family and friends and just do it out of my kitchen until I gain enough of a following and reserve cash to buy a building outright, remodel it and then deal with the City’s madness. Leasing a place has almost soured me on this whole idea but, as with writing, I’ve hit bumps and gone around roadblocks before and though irritating, the end results made it all worth it.

So, come Monday, I’m going in again and I’ll keep at until I get everything I need to get Scoodie-oop up and running. Now I think I’ll go into my kitchen and do a little cupcake therapy….peace out!

Can I get a Thumbs up on this one!!!

For once, something that makes sense came out of the mouth of an out of touch politician.

Rick Santorum Says “Smart People Will Never Be On Our Side”

Santorum tells values voters to be wary of the media elite.

Rosie GrayBuzzFeed Staff

Image by Jason Reed / Reuters

Posted Sep 15, 2012 1:07pm EDT

WASHINGTON, DC — Former presidential candidate Rick Santorum attacked the media and “smart people” for not being on the side of conservatives in a speech to the Values Voter Summit on Saturday.

“We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country,” Santorum, a former Pennsylvania senator, told the audience at the Omni Shoreham hotel. “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

The media “doesn’t like the other side,” Santorum said. “And not necessarily, I would argue, because they agree with them, but because they can influence the country.

“If just a few people make decisions about what this world looks like, what this country looks like, then you have people sitting in offices at major media outlets and Hollywood who think they can deal with a small group of people, to get them to jump through the hoops they want you to,” Santorum said.

Santorum also criticized the libertarian wing of the Republican party for not supporting what he sees as the pillars of conservatism: religion and family.

“When it comes to conservatism libertarian types can say, oh, well you know, we don’t want to talk about social issues,” Santorum said. “Without the church and the family, there is no conservative movement, there is no basic values of America.”